Life…
You wait 20 or more years to find the “perfect” spouse. Someone that you can envision growing old and infirm with. Someone who you can picture living with in the house with the white picket fence, 2.3 kids and a station wagon…or a minivan…or a flexfuel, hybrid SUV.
Well, that day comes. You meet him/her. You date for an unspecified amount of time. Then…you get…ENGAGED.
You plan your wedding. You register at Crate and Barrel, Bed, Bath and Beyond and everywhere else that the two of you decide to register for your plates, bowls, vases, and all the fun things that you get to receive.
You have showers…
You have dinners…
You have the dreaded bachelor/bachelorette parties…strippers and all…
Then the big day…
Two become one…sigh…so in love…smoochie, smoochie…
You go on a honeymoon of some sort…some lavish, some…not so much. But…you are together and about to embark on a new chapter in your lives.
Time to have babies. How many? How close/far apart in age? Because, quite frankly…those are really the only things you can control, when it comes to having children…and not always…depends how careful you are š
You get pregnant…if your lucky…right away.
You start kicking those 2.3 puppies out.
You watch them grow…hopefully you and your “perfect” spouse are still together…
Suddenly…your children aren’t babies anymore. They are in pre-school. Life gets easier. You have free time to work-out…or just work.
After all those years of waiting. Waiting to find out who you’re going to marry. Waiting to get married. Waiting to get pregnant. Waiting to have those babies. Waiting for those babies to start sleeping through the night. Waiting for all the milestones…
You realize…
Your done.
Your done waiting for those things. And now…
You and your spouse start discussing…
which one of you is going to get “fixed”.
Because…there won’t be any more babies…
Not out of the body that is just starting to become old. And…not very firm.(Although, with the Wii fit…hopefully the firm will come back a bit)
And, you realize that the next phase of your life is just beginning.
You are ready to start raising those 2.3 (or in my case, 5) kids into adulthood. To try to teach them to be effective, responsible human beings. To try to teach them to make good choices regarding school, peer pressure, friends…future spouses. And you hope that they learn from you. And that they learn from those around them. And that they take with them all their life lessons…and be as successful as they want to be.
So, the husband makes an appointment. To get snipped. So that there won’t be even the most remote possibility of having to do any more of that kind of waiting…
And that is so strange to me. Because…that choice…although I don’t want anymore kids…is going to be gone. I’m at that stage in my life. It happened to fast. My babies aren’t babies anymore. I’m my parents ages. Although, I’m waaaay cooler and younger than they were at my age!
So now…
I will watch my children wait.
Wait for 20 years or so, to find their “perfect” spouse…
…to plan the weddings…
…and enjoy the festivities…
…and begin their journey to parenthood…
And I will watch. With my not so perfect, yet snipped, spouse.
And I look forward to it.
Because…I’m ready to start the whole new series of my “waitings”.
I had the snip when my youngest was only 2. I had other problems and while the drs. were already poking around, I asked that they go ahead and solder the pipes shut. I’m closer to that whole 2nd gen wait and I am, but still not, looking forward to that. I don’t think I’m quite ready to be a gran.
I had a tubal just moments after my youngest was born via c section. I found out while being 100 months pregnant that if I went with the c section that my doctor would also tie my tubes. I was over pregnant and sick of being pregnant. The morning sickness lasted 700 months,(ok not really but at the time that is what it felt like) I was put on bed rest to prevent preterm delivery. I had enough and went with a c section to have baby and to end my changes of having another. I’m now in the next stage of the waiting game too and it’s been a blast!
My hubby got snipped over a year ago because we too are done. It is sad and yet so invigorating (however you spell it)! I knew I didn’t want anymore and I knew I wanted to continue to have sex. Now I don’t have to worry and I love it. Sorry not such a G rated comment.
I was snipped after my second’s c-section arrival. Jason was supposed to get snipped a few months later. He didn’t. The bastard.
i was snipped after baby no. 4’s c-section.
my husband was snipped after his daughter was born.
my baby no. 4 just started high school.
i’m just starting to start waiting for an empty nest, which will come sooner rather than later. that makes me sad — but also excited for HER.
I too got tied up in conjuction with the C-section with DeBoy. I tried to get him to go ahead and take out my appendix while he was at it (I mean, really, it’s just a bad situation waiting to happen, right?), but he just snickered. At 43, and having had 2 quite dreadful pregnancies, I knew I didn’t want any more kids. We had to add a room onto the house for DeBoy as it was. Two is plenty. I don’t have to have a minivan with 2.
great post…I really like this one…well said!
cute post melissa. i especially liked how you said, “Although, Iām waaaay cooler and younger than they were at my age!” **giggles** take care sweetie, kathleen xoxo
I really love this post. I love your words and the progression.
I’m not there. We’re not at the snipping point…although I have wanted to do some at home snipping occasionally! š
Great post!
My Hubs would get snipped in a heartbeat, however I don’t feel like I’m done yet. I want one more baby. One more and then our family will be complete. One more baby and then I can start making up an entire new set of “waitings”. Great post girly.
I love how you worded this…I am also in this time of waiting….it is an in between time, but it is a good time!!
Great post. I’m in that next phase of waiting myself. It’s nice though. I have my dogs to ‘baby’.
Melissa,
My computer is dying!! So while I sometimes can get online, haven’t had time to comment!!!! so sad!!!! Talk soon
Oh. That’s a tough time– that finality of everything. We were actually scheduling the snip when we discovered the Miss Ky had sneaked into the picture– then the Hubby said “that’s it”, booked and finished it off. I went through a terrible time! Of course after that 5th delivery from hell, I was ok with the decision š
My hubby says that 4 is definitely his final number, but I don’t think I will ever be able to say I’m done having kids. It is just so final. I just can’t.
Hang in there. This is bound to be a tough phase right now, but there is so many new adventures to look forward to. š
How true….
I’m still in for one more baby (at least) so I’m not there yet, but I can see it out there….crazy how we grow up, huh?