I may have mentioned before that my youngest child is a…um…nudist. Well…he is. Naked as a jaybird…whatever that means.
Until recently, it was not at all uncommon for my son to go streaking over to any random neighbors house…as long as they have dogs…he loves to visit the neighbors dogs. On a side note, though…I tell him he should wear underwear because one day, a dog is going to mistake his wiener for a doggy treat. THAT wouldn’t be very good!!
I say recently because I absolutely had to put the ka-bosh on his nudist ways. HAD TO. People were starting to talk. It was getting em-bare-ass-ing…oh I am sooooo funny!! ANYHOO…I informed him that the nakey police would come and take him to jail if he didn’t start wearing, at least, underwear to run around the neighborhood in. I mean…c’mon. There is only so much nakedness that a neighborhood should have to endure.
Well, so now, he is afraid that “the nakey police will take me away and I’ll be gone forever and you’ll never see me again.” So he wears underwear before running out of the house to go and play with random neighbors dogs.
What’s my point of this story, you may be asking yourself. Patience, my little friend…I had to do a big lead in…
NOW…which leads me to the point of my story…
My son goes to pre-school…which is over for the summer…
One day…on a Tuesday, I believe…not that that should matter but anyway…he had a substitute pre-school teacher. Her name is Lois.
She…lives in my neighborhood.
She…has experienced his royal nakedness…first hand!
So, this day, the day she substitute taught my son’s pre-school class…she asked him…
“So, what are you known for in our neighborhood?”
Yes…she REALLY did ask him that…
“Being NAKEY and running from the NAKEY POLICE.”
Yes…that is his real response..
One day he is going to be arrested for sit down protesting the legalization of marijuana. And…he’ll be naked while doing so!!
Oh yeah…What a way to make your Mommy proud!
the planet of janet says
oh.my.GAWD… that is hilarious. and (like you said) em-bare-ass-ing.
That is too funny and I loved the em-bare-ass-ing statement. You are too funny!
Mine are both nudists!
Tara R. says
Why on earth would she ask him that? Mine outgrew that nakey stuff a while back….. I hope.
*snort* Great story. My boy prefers being naked as well. Fortunately we live on an isolated mountain and we have 3 dogs of our own so we don’t have the nakey through the neighborhood problem. He did try to strip down at tumbling class one day though. The 17 girls in the class were riveted.
You are such a witty gal– LOVE the “em-bare-assing” what an honor to know someone who could come up with that! I am wondering who he got his love of nakey-ness from…. hmmm.
Hahahah!!!! That is hilarious!
Way to have a flair for the dramatic! I wonder what mine is known for now?? Hmm..
dysfunctional mom says
Nakey police! ha ha ha!
Pink Lemonade Liz says
Are you sure you don’t live in my neighborhood??
No, I guess it was several years ago, but there was a little nudist up the street here too. Finally I guess his Mom put an end to it… everytime they’d see him, my girls would say…”Hey, there’s that naked boy again!!”
nap warden says
I hear you…I have two nudists running around here as well!
I sent you an email…did you get it?
ROFLMAO! I have 3 nakids in my house! They just make in the door from school when the clothes start coming off! Just this morning when the bus came to pick up the kids….my youngest ran out the door was totally nakid! Did I mention that there was a cop sitting out there waiting for someone to come speeding by or pass the bus with red flashing lights? Talk about em-bare-assing! I could not get the kids to the bus and him back inside fast enough!
I have no clue why the teacher would ask him that….I would have opened my mouth to her for being rude!
Nice to see you again!
Oh now THAT is just plain ole funny (for me at least, right)? 🙂
Teeheee…. awesome. What a funny kiddo! 😉
Myrtle Beached Whale says
Hilarious stuff. I can relate.
Hey maybe he’ll be a model for A & F or Gilly Hicks?
Half-Past Kissin' Time says
Little Stinker! This reminds me of an adorable photo I have of my own naked son, way back when he was about 3. I’ll have to post it next week for Wordless Wednesday. (Don’t worry; it won’t be pornographic! 🙂 Thanks for the inspiration. As long as we’re on the subject, you must read my post from last week Friday: http://www.halfpastkissintime.com/2008/06/why-kendall-might-be-sorry-i-work-at.html
Busymama Karen says
LOL – you crack me up. Thank you so much for sharing your stories.
Shamelessly Sassy says
my daughter is a nudist. Also, when my younger brother was little, he would streak and go pee in the next door neighbor’s front yard.
so grateful to be Mormon says
thank you for the laugh, kathleen xo