Thirteen things my parents told me. Things I VOWED I would NEVER say to my kids. I PROMISED myself…these things would NEVER be heard from MY mouth. EVER…
OOPS…
1. ” If you don’t eat your dinner, you don’t get dessert.” That used to annoy me. Because, we never had good desserts when I was growing up. The rents just didn’t believe in it. We had stuff like fruit cocktail…back when they took the cherries out because of the red dye scare. And now…I wave dessert in front of my children…like a trophy…to join the clean plate club. And my desserts aren’t any better!!
2. “If you don’t do well in school…how are you going to go to college?!” Ok…that didn’t work on me…how can I expect it to work on my kids?
3. “Your reputation is the only thing you have. You have to protect it.” It sickens me that I have to tell my girls that at such a young age. But…kids these days. A fast bunch. In my day…back when there were horse drawn carriages…we waited until we were a respectable age to get a bad reputation.
4. “Clean your room!” Yeah…I hated when my parents told me to clean my room. I was very happy to live in my mess. I knew where everything was when it was in the middle of my room, strewn around on the floor. But…I can’t stand walking by my kids rooms and seeing mass destruction. It DRIVES. ME. NUTS!
5. “You’re NOT leaving the house in THAT!” Hey…I was making a fashion statement dressed in neon and black. I hardly think that my kids are doing the same when the try to leave the house wearing orange pants and red shirts…or a pink and black shirt with a green tank top hanging out…with brown gauchos. NOT a pretty look. Definitely NOT a fashion statement.
Here are a couple of things that my parents NEVER had to remind me to do that you can hear me screaming about EVERY.FREAKING.MORNING!
6. “Brush your teeth”. There is only one child…every morning…that I fight with about oral hygiene. And…I have no clue WHY he would even WANT to go to school…having morning breath…all freaking day long?! And yet, every morning…I yell at him to NOT leave this house until he brushes his teeth!! So gross!!
7. “Flush the toilet!” Why do I have to remind them to flush the toilet after they use it? Particularly after they poop. It’s nasty. It smells. The upstairs has a permanent poop oder because they forget to flush. But…the dog has a nice early morning snack…every morning. Note to visitors…don’t let our dog lick you…EVER. I don’t even want to tell you where that face has been.
8. “It’s a snack…not a meal!” Every day after school…the kids come home. And every day after school…like a swarm of termites (or whatever you call a whole bunch of termites) they eat everything in their path. EVERYTHING. They eat me out of house and home. I didn’t realize how much food a pre-teen kid eats. HOLY CRAP!!
And…Here are some things that I hope I NEVER have to say to the kids…
9. “YOUR WHAT?” I really hope that my kids…my girls…when they get to be OF THAT AGE…I hope they use common sense. So that they don’t get knocked up. I’m a firm PRO-CHOICER…and, I’m NOT raising a 15 year old childs…child. NOT EVER!! (Sounds harsh. It is. But, I’m entitled to my opinion.)
10. “I found these in your purse!” Actually, my mom used to find cigarettes in my purse…all the time. So…while I fully expect to find smokes hidden…I really hope I don’t.
11. “Shape up or ship out!” Seriously…the only reason why I hope I never say that to my children is…I hate that expression. I hope it NEVER slips out of my mouth, uninvited!! I knew that my parents were not about to ship me out if I didn’t shape up…just like I’m sure my kids know that same. It’s just a stoopit expression…in my opinion.
12. I can’t think of any more right now.
13…But, I’m sure they’ll come to me…eventually…
Happy TT
XOXO
We only had dessert on Saturday night and hubby’s family was pretty much the same. If we didn’t eat, we went hungry.
Some of the school stuff obviously doesn’t apply to us yet. Although our school system is so abysmal they could probably sleep all day in class and still do well.
As to clothes, the only thing I’m going to worry about is coverage. If she wants to go out in 18 colors and mix plaids with polka dots, I’ll remind her that she’ll get laughed at, then let her go on. But if she’s 8 and trying to show a bunch of skin, NO WAY is that happening.
Fortunately both my kids love to brush their teeth. Hopefully that trend will continue.
Flushing? Not yet, but technically we’re still in potty training mode. However, I’ve noticed that everywhere I go, people will not flush the commode. I think it’s a cultural thing, but I’m so tired of going to the bathroom at the college or a restaurant and some stupid redneck piece of trash has not bothered to flush. (Um, was that harsh?)
So far we have to beg them to eat. Thanks for the warning that this trend will reverse in future.
I worry about the pregnancy thing, too, more so for DeBoy being slapped with a paternity suit. Many girls in this area are so starved for love that they think having a baby will solve that, so they DELIBERATELY get pregnant at 13 and 14 and 15. And I can see DeBoy being accused because there is a perception (wrong) that we are well-off (Daddy has a job – it’s rare), so the trick will be to impress upon him not ever going near a girl at all. I’m pro-choice as well, but I think I’m the only one in this county, so if he gets a girl pregnant, we’re all done for.
I fully expect to battle my girl at every turn because we already do. And I’ve joked before that I will probably hit menopause about the time she hits puberty. God help us all.
I agree with you on the not raising a 15 year old child’s child. I’d have to do adoption though, sorry! The list was good and I found myself nodding in agreement more than I’d like to admit.
My dad used to say ‘if you don’t stop crying, I’ll give you something to cry about.’ Usually said when I knew I was in trouble and the water works would start. I have NEVER said this to my own kids. I figured I had a reason to cry and so would they. Great post.
This is why I KNOW you’re my long, lost sister! I couldn’t agree more. Especially with #13. Eventually, things come to my mindless self. 🙂
Heartcha and miss ya even more.
this list TOTALLY speaks to me. you are brilliant.
The teeth brushing thing…must be male specific tendency. I swear my step brothers REFUSED to either brush their teeth or wash their hair. My poor step mother used to go crazy everyday over this.
Nice list. What about: My house, my rules!
I would HAVE to raise my child’s child. I would just have too. I’m not an abortion backer, and I don’t know if I’d be able to see my grandkid being given up for adoption. Ouch. Hopefully neither of us will have to think about it.
I am forever telling the boys to flush the toilet. What is that???
Flush, wipe and did you wash your hands are words that come out of our mouths without even thinking about it… Oh, and quit wiping snot on the walls. Yep, all in a day’s work.
And I keep saying all of that stuff to my kids. Ugh. I am my parents.
Heard you need help with kitten………What do you need to know?
I also have reference here if we need it!
What is it about flushing that is so difficult??? I’ve got the same problem… only no dog.
I’m right there with ya on the snack thing too! They think unless they’re stuffed, they can’t possibly be done… I, mean, they only ate lunch two and a half hours earlier – how hungry can they possibly be???
It is a very scary thing when you hear your parents words coming out of your mouth – I find myself doing this too.
Nice list. My house, my rules. My way or the highway.